For You I Will
by A. B. Buckley
Summary: Nick gains the confidence to admit his feelings to his long-time crush. Songfic, One-shot. Nick/Greg slash. Rated T for suggestiveness at end. Second fan fic, so please R&R, flames are welcomed.


I don't own CSI, and if I did, there would be SO many changes. I don't own the song either, but it spoke out to me, and this is what came of it. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

_Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all_

_Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have_

Nick was driving in a daze, letting the words of the song sink into his head. Every word spoke to him; it was as if the writer had been watching him, had some how slipped into his head and took his thoughts and feelings and turned it into the song that had just played. There were some things that Nick could live without, but there was one person that he knew he could never live without. And yet, this person was just out of his reach, and it killed Nick to know that his love would be unrequited. But as he listened to the song, he was given the courage, the _confidence_, to open himself up, and even if his worst fears were realized, at least he would know the truth. He suddenly found himself outside the building where his secret crush lived. Nick took a deep breath, and closed his eyes, willing his heart to slow down.

_Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair 'round your finger_

_Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you what I feel about you_

No, he wasn't afraid; he was terrified. But he knew if he didn't confess, he would drown in his own emotions. He turned off his car, climbed out, and slowly climbed the steps that led him to the apartment door of his crush. He stood there, staring wondering if he really should, before swallowing back his resistance and raising his fist to knock.

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_and cannon ball into the water_

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_

He knocked on the door, and let his gaze fall to his feet. He wanted to run; he needed to run, needed to get away before making things worse. He was about to turn when the door opened.

"Nick?" the beautiful voice asked, and he forced his eyes upward into the face of Greg Sanders. "What are you doing here?" Nick opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His eyes locked with Greg's, and he found himself out of breath.

_Forgive me if I st-stutter_

_from all the clutter in my head_

_But I could fall asleep in those eyes_

_like a water bed_

"Um…well…I….uh…" God, it was just like Greg to silence him with just a look, just one look. Those beautiful brown eyes were addicting, and Nick had found himself coming up with any excuse to go to the lab just to see those eyes. Then when Greg joined the team as a CSI, Nick nearly died, knowing that he wouldn't have to make up any excuse to look at the newbie. Though now his coworkers would get suspicious if they caught him staring that the younger man, which was quite often.

"Nick, are you ok? You look like you're going to be sick." Greg's eyes were full of concerned, and he stepped aside, motioning for Nick to enter. Nick did, and let his eyes wander around the apartment he had seen many times. It was a bit messy, but that's what he liked about Greg. "Do you want to sit down? I'll go get you some water." Greg moved to go to the kitchen, but Nick finally found his voice.

"No, no, I have to say what I came to say." Greg stopped, and turned to Nick, confusion on his face, and a trace of curiosity in his eyes.

"What exactly do you have to say?" Greg said slowly, warily eying the older man. Nick shuffled on his feet, let out a frustrated sigh, then began pacing, trying to figure out how to put everything into words.

_Do I seem familiar? _

_I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times_

"Nick, I've never seen you like this. What's wrong?" Nick couldn't help but laugh a little. At the moment, he didn't recognize himself. It wasn't like him to show his true feelings. He was always locking them up in himself, never letting them out again. And here he was, preparing to expose his soul, and Greg had no idea what the older man was doing.

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep living this lie. I thought I could, I wanted to, but….it's become too hard."

"Nick, what are you talking about?" He could tell Greg was starting to get worried, so Nick finally just let himself go.

_No more camouflage, I want to be exposed_

_and not be afraid to fall_

"You. I'm talking about you, and what you do to me." Greg froze at Nick's words, trying to understand their meaning. Nick continued, "I can't breathe when you're around. I can barely think when I look you in the eye. One smile from you and I'm floored. I can't live without you, but I know I'll die if you don't know how I feel. I love you, Greg, I always have. I realized this after the explosion, when I thought I lost you, but I couldn't tell you because you were fragile, and I wasn't sure what my confession would do to you. And when I was buried, I swore that if I got out alive, I would tell you, but I chickened out. And just a couple of weeks ago, when that kid nearly beat you to death…" Nick's voice cracked, and he turned away before continuing. "After that, I was going to tell you, but again, you were so fragile…so breakable… But what pushed me to be standing here, telling you all this, was a song. A song! Three years of knowing I love you, three years of keeping it a secret, and one stupid song pushed me here to confess everything."

_I'm gonna muster every once of confidence I have_

_and cannon ball into the water_

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_You always want what you can't have,_

_but I've got to try_

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_

_For you_

"I know that you might not feel the same way, but I had to tell you, I had to try. I had to…" He went quiet, running out of things to say, waiting for Greg to throw him out. The silence was unbearable, but Nick couldn't bring himself to look at Greg, afraid of the look that most likely would be on the younger mans' face. Suddenly, Nick heard Greg move, and he braced himself for the yelling and shoving, maybe a punch or two. He watched as Greg's feet stopped in front of him, and felt a hand grab his chin, lifting his face and therein forcing him to look at Greg. The younger man's face was full of concern and love, and Nick watched as the corners of Greg's lips turned upward.

"I love you, too, Nick." Greg leaned in and brushed his lips against Nicks. The kiss was soft, loving, and the two stayed like that for a few minutes before pulling back, both out of breath. "What was the song?"

Nick smiled, "'For You I Will'." Greg smiled in response, and then stepped away. Nick groaned at the loss of contact, but his smile returned when the lights in Greg's apartment dimmed.

_If I could dim the lights in the mall_

_and create a mood, I would_

_Shout out your name so it echo's in every room_

_Yeah, that's what I'd do_

_That's what I'd do to get through to you, yeah_

"I know this isn't a mall, but it'd have to do." Greg walked back and embraced Nick, holding him close. "That Teddy Geiger knows what he's talking about." Nick smiled against Greg's neck, and whispered, "He most definitely does." Greg leaned back and kissed Nick gently again, but soon the kiss turned passionate, their tongues exploring each others mouths, fighting for dominance. Finally, Nick pulled away, leaning his forehead against Greg's, breathing heavily. The younger man slowly took Nick by the hand, and guided him to the bedroom, where after an hour or so, Nick's cries became so loud, they echoed in every room.

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_and cannon ball into the water_

_I'm gonna must every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_You always want what you can't have_

_but I've got to try_

_I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_

_For you I will_


End file.
